by Philip Zies

You may have already heard that Chief Judge Paul Michel, of the US Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit, announced that he will be stepping down as chief judge and will be retiring from the judiciary in March of 2010.  Does it seem strange to anyone else that Chief Judge Michel’s announcement comes only a day after Oprah Winfrey announced that she will be leaving her show in 2011?  While Tactical IP did not contact Chief Judge Michel for comment, a list of the top 10 reasons why Chief Judge Michel may have “pulled an Oprah” follows:

• 10:  Didn’t want to be upstaged by Oprah.
• 9:  Wanted some time off before the Mayan calendar ends December 21, 2012.
• 8:  Wanted to form an exploratory committee for the Oprah/Michel ticket in 2012.
• 7:  Wanted to vest in his health insurance coverage before healthcare reform is passed.
• 6:  Didn’t want to preside over a possible appeal of the congressionally imposed BCS bowl schedule.
• 5:  Wanted to show Oprah that he is available to take over her show in 2012.
• 4:  Sending a child up in a weather balloon as a publicity stunt had already been done.
• 3:  Wanted to be available for the Washington Redskins head coaching position.
• 2:  Tired of carpooling to work with Arlen Specter

…and the number one reason why Chief Judge Michel may have “pulled an Oprah”

• 1:  Two Words:  Cosmetology School

If you can think of other reasons why Judge Michel “pulled an Oprah,” please let us know.

Actually, in all seriousness, we wish Judge Michel the very best.  We also want to let him know that, with his qualifications, Zies Widerman & Malek can probably justify extending an offer of employment to His Honor, in either our D.C. area office or our Florida office.