By Scott Nyman

There is nothing new about filing copyright infringement lawsuits against numerous unnamed defendants. This is especially true when the infringed “work of art” is so bad that it is arguably a step backwards for the arts. (I’m talking to you Uwe) In the latest instance of this practice, XPAYS has just filed a lawsuit in the U.S. District Court, Central District of California against 843 alleged BitTorrent users for downloading their copyright protected motion picture, “One Night in Paris.” And yes, I called it a motion picture, as it is comically referred to in the court documents.

I'll have whatever she's having.

For those of you who don’t own a television, or do not have access to conversations with other people, Paris Hilton maintains a recurring presence in tabloid headlines and celebrity gossip outlets. In 2003, the world was shaken by the combination of the two then popular phrases: “Paris Hilton” + “sex tape.”

It appears that a number of people have figured out a way to view the nations’s object of obsession, in all of her night-vision enhanced glory, without paying for the privilege. As you can guess, this makes publisher XPAYS a little unhappy.

Aside from trying to mitigate the profit losses from the illegal downloading of the motion picture that XPAYS has “spent a substantial amount of time, money and effort to produce, market and distribute,” XPAYS is also looking out for the children.

As stated directly in the complaint: “In addition to rampant copyright infringement, a user’s ability to download copyright content via BitTorrent presents a host of other problems. Minors are able to download adult entertainment content without being subject to the age verification process that most adult content-providers require before distribution of this content…” At least someone is looking out…

The Electronic Frontier Foundation, an organization dedicated to defending the rights of individuals in the digital world, has stepped into the fight. The EFF has filed an amicus brief regarding this matter, requesting that subpoenas be squashed for this spray-and-pray litigation tactic. Corynne McSherry, Intellectual Property Director at the EFF, has stated, “Copyright owners have a right to protect their works, but they can’t use shoddy and unfair tactics to do so. We’re asking the Court to protect the rights of each and every defendant, instead of allowing these copyright trolls to game the system.”

I’m calling it now. In 2011, Uwe Boll directs Paris Hilton’s next sex tape, which will be named “Paris Hilton: Baby Talk.” Three months later, Boll and XPAYS name 23,000 defendants in an infringement suit filed in Alaska.